Passport to Prison
Remember when you were a kid and your teacher handed out those graded spelling tests who didn’t study for because you thought, “Hey I’m going to be a rock star/center fielder. I’m not going to need to...
View ArticleShe’s Got a Ticket to Die
I know, two bad puns in the same vein in the same week is asking for trouble. If you’re upset about it, it’s only because you didn’t think of it. So shut it and just keep reading… DES MOINES, Iowa (AP)...
View ArticleFunny Money
There’s a great line from the movie “Wall Street,” “The main thing about money…is that it makes you do things you don’t want to do.” Oliver Stone should have added, “and it don’t make you that much...
View ArticleCheck Wreck
Alexis Solis of Anytown U.S.A. send us this tale of treachery by three people who thought they could get away with check fraud by stealing a bank teller’s checkbook and then cashing the checks where...
View ArticlePennies from Heaven
Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret. I’m from Bank of America. I’ve just received this check endorsed to you and I’m going to need to verify your signature. Can you give me a social security number...
View ArticleGlass-holes
There’s dumb criminals and then there’s dumb criminals and when I said dumb the second time, I said it with a really long first syllable with a face that looks like someone dropped a safe on my foot....
View ArticleA Jackpot Crackpot
The level of some people’s intelligence astounds me, but the only thing that astounds me more is the intelligence people have when it comes to how low they think other people’s intelligence is as well....
View ArticleUnchecked
If you’re going to commit check fraud, don’t. That’s probably the most sound advice I have ever given to humanity. A woman in Cincinnati was arrested for trying to pass some bad checks at a credit...
View ArticleNoteworthless
Post-It Notes are a great invention, aren’t they? They allow you to leave helpful reminders anywhere you work. They provide a quick place to jot down a phone number or some notes. They provide police...
View ArticleReturn to Stupid
It’s amazing we still have mail in this day and age of rampant technology and lightning fast communication. It’s still a necessary and vital part of all societies. For instance, it helps weed out the...
View ArticleBrain Spill on Aisle 4
Going to the grocery ain’t exactly a bowl of fabric softener either. Just take this woman who committed credit card fraud and got snagged because she used her grocery discount card at the same time,...
View ArticleThe Balloon Drops
Sure the rest of the world already knows about this, but this fell under our radar here at DCHQ because other more pressing news. And considering that we usually deal with drunks committing felonies,...
View ArticleAnd Remember To Floss At Least Once A Day…
Although this website is dedicated to cretin criminals and foolish felons, there are often some pretty dumb victims as well. Or in this case, just very careless. A Florida man, who happens to have the...
View ArticleIt’s Seared, Not Burnt
Everyone should learn to cook, right? You don’t want to be that family who alternates between PB&J sandwiches and chicken Mcnuggets as their constant nutritional income. Or worse, the family who...
View Article“You’ve Got Red On You”
If you have a legitimate zombie apocalypse plan, congratulations. You officially have the (sick) mind of a teenage male. Or maybe the non-existent mind of a dumb criminal. A man in Houston was caught...
View ArticleFailed And Jailed
Ugh, grades. For a lot of students, the school year is wrapping up. But instead of going vegan (the lawnmower diet) for a “beach body” and attempting a natural tan (ha), most of us are stressing the...
View Articles0 rand0m xD
Ew, remember discovering technology in your middle school days? The thrill of limitless hashtagging, the freedom to use numbers as letters, and best of all, alerting everyone that you changed your...
View ArticleWhat’s Inside That Counts
If I hear a girl say “skinny for prom” one more time, I’m gonna lose it. ‘Cause screw it, I’m getting super fat for prom. Morbidly obese. And for spring break? When, come mid-March, everyone else is...
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